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10 ways for candidates to totally hack off your recruitment company.

17 July 2015

10 ways candidates can totally “p**s off” your recruitment company.

  1. Always a good one to start – phone in on the day of your interview and cancel because your goldfish has got toothache. Better still, don’t even bother to phone in.

  1. When we phone you to arrange an interview tell us you can’t remember the job because you “have applied for so many”. When we explain it to you patiently over the phone, tell us you’ve decided not to bother.

  1. When we keep phoning, texting and emailing you why not just ignore us. You, after all, have far more important things to do – like checking Facebook.

  1. When we want to arrange an interview for you for that job you were desperate to get, act all surprised when they want to see you. Act even more surprised when they want to see you during the working day. Tell us that you can only do after 6:30pm and only on a Tuesday or a Thursday – but wait, no, not this Thursday as your boyfriend is washing his hair.

  1. Use a pathetic email address which begins with something like princessxxx@ or iveabiggun@ or manutd23445674@ or lovelybabydoll@. Grow up and get an adult email address.

  1. When you are offered an interview ask all sorts of really important questions like how much holiday do I get? Or, remind me of the hours again. Or, how much time do I get for lunch? All questions designed to make the employer feel that you are really committed to their role.

  1. When you are offered a job, tell us you’d like to think about it for a couple of days while we make everyone else wait for you to consider the offer. Like it has come as a complete surprise to you that you can apply for a job and get offered it.

  1. …then, go back to your existing employer and tell them you have had an offer and unless they match the salary you are on your bike even though this is their busiest time of the year (but you knew that when you applied, didn’t you).

  1. When they make a counter offer, don’t phone to explain, just send a one line email telling is you have changed your mind.

  1. Finally, once you are in the new role which we put you into make sure that your new employer uses any recruitment company on the planet except us as this could show some sort of favouritism on your part even though they have been working with us for years. 
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